Meditation Jokes - Page 1

Why did ZK-Rollups go to a meditation class?

To prove they can handle high pressure calmly.

Metaverse Meditation

- "I’ve started meditating in Decentraland."

- "How does that work?"

- "I close my eyes and imagine infinite blockchain blocks."

- "Do you feel more centered?"

- "Yes, especially after I stake my ETH." 🧘‍♀️

Ethereum’s Meditation Retreat:

"Ethereum, what are you meditating on?"
"Inner decentralization and gas fee enlightenment."
"Feel any different?"
"More scalable already!" 🧘

Crypto Meditation

I meditate on my crypto losses.

It’s called “Zen of the Red Market.” 🧘‍♂️📉

Mining Meditation

I meditate while mining.

Helps me stay calm when profits disappear. 🧘‍♂️⛏️

Related Categories

crypto metaverse mining
More jokes
Request history8.3.16PHP Version343msRequest Duration3MBMemory UsageGET jokes/{alias?}Route
  • warninglog[16:09:21] LOG.warning: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecate...
  • Booting (22.77ms)time
  • Application (320ms)time
  • 1 x Application (93.36%)
    320ms
    1 x Booting (6.63%)
    22.77ms
    5 templates were rendered
    • blog.jokes_aliasjokes_alias.blade.php#?blade
    • layouts.sitesite.blade.php#?blade
    • flash-messageflash-message.blade.php#?blade
    • layouts.headerheader.blade.php#?blade
    • layouts.footerfooter.blade.php#?blade
    uri
    GET jokes/{alias?}
    middleware
    web
    uses
    Closure($alias = null) {#391 class: "Illuminate\Routing\RouteFileRegistrar" this: Illuminate\Routing\RouteFileRegistrar {#364 …} file: "/home/admin2/web/chalzy.club/public_html/routes/web.php" line: "62 to 65" }
    namespace
    prefix
    where
    file
    routes/web.php:62-65
    13 statements were executed94.96ms
    • BlogController.php#207admin2_chalzyblogConnection Established
      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:207
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:35
    • BlogController.php#210admin2_chalzyblog36.54msselect "jokekeys_content_full" from "jokekeys" where "jokekeys_name" = 'meditation' limit 1
      Bindings
      • 0: meditation
      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:210
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:35
    • BlogController.php#215admin2_chalzyblog4.73msselect count(*) as aggregate from "jokes" where LOWER(REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE(jokes_name, '’', ''), '‘', ''), '-', '')) LIKE '%meditation%'
      Bindings
      • 0: %meditation%
      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:215
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:35
    • BlogController.php#237admin2_chalzyblog5.29msselect * from "jokes" where LOWER(REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE(jokes_name, '’', ''), '‘', ''), '-', '')) LIKE '%meditation%' and "jokes_view" = '1' order by "created_at" desc limit 30 offset 0
      Bindings
      • 0: %meditation%
      • 1: 1
      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:237
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:35
    • BlogController.php#261admin2_chalzyblog2.98msselect STRING_AGG(COALESCE(jokes_name, ''), ' ') AS all_keywords from "jokes" where "jokes_view" = '1'
      Bindings
      • 0: 1
      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:261
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:35
    • BlogController.php#293admin2_chalzyblog4.98msselect count(*) as aggregate from "jokes" where LOWER(jokes_name) like '%crypto%' and "jokes_view" = '1'
      Bindings
      • 0: %crypto%
      • 1: 1
      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
    • BlogController.php#293admin2_chalzyblog4.77msselect count(*) as aggregate from "jokes" where LOWER(jokes_name) like '%metaverse%' and "jokes_view" = '1'
      Bindings
      • 0: %metaverse%
      • 1: 1
      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
    • BlogController.php#293admin2_chalzyblog6.06msselect count(*) as aggregate from "jokes" where LOWER(jokes_name) like '%mining%' and "jokes_view" = '1'
      Bindings
      • 0: %mining%
      • 1: 1
      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
    • BlogController.php#293admin2_chalzyblog6.87msselect count(*) as aggregate from "jokes" where LOWER(jokes_name) like '%meditation%' and "jokes_view" = '1'
      Bindings
      • 0: %meditation%
      • 1: 1
      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
    • BlogController.php#293admin2_chalzyblog6.34msselect count(*) as aggregate from "jokes" where LOWER(jokes_name) like '%ethereums%' and "jokes_view" = '1'
      Bindings
      • 0: %ethereums%
      • 1: 1
      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
    • BlogController.php#293admin2_chalzyblog5.95msselect count(*) as aggregate from "jokes" where LOWER(jokes_name) like '%class%' and "jokes_view" = '1'
      Bindings
      • 0: %class%
      • 1: 1
      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
    • BlogController.php#293admin2_chalzyblog5.1msselect count(*) as aggregate from "jokes" where LOWER(jokes_name) like '%retreat%' and "jokes_view" = '1'
      Bindings
      • 0: %retreat%
      • 1: 1
      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
    • BlogController.php#293admin2_chalzyblog3.8msselect count(*) as aggregate from "jokes" where LOWER(jokes_name) like '%zkrollups%' and "jokes_view" = '1'
      Bindings
      • 0: %zkrollups%
      • 1: 1
      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
    • Utilities.php#47admin2_chalzyblog1.55msselect * from "topics" where "topics_view" = '1' order by "topics_sort" asc
      Bindings
      • 0: 1
      Backtrace
      • app/Utilities.php:47
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:110
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:70
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/View.php:195
        _token
        mZ039eO2EW6pgjI1UQh11Snffu937XwA3nptF076
        _previous
        array:1 [ "url" => "https://chalzy.club/jokes/meditation" ]
        _flash
        array:2 [ "old" => [] "new" => [] ]
        path_info
        /jokes/meditation
        status_code
        200
        
        status_text
        OK
        format
        html
        content_type
        text/html; charset=UTF-8
        request_query
        []
        
        request_request
        []
        
        request_headers
        0 of 0
        array:23 [ "sec-ch-ua-mobile" => array:1 [ 0 => "?0" ] "sec-ch-ua" => array:1 [ 0 => ""HeadlessChrome";v="129", "Not=A?Brand";v="8", "Chromium";v="129"" ] "cache-control" => array:1 [ 0 => "no-cache" ] "pragma" => array:1 [ 0 => "no-cache" ] "cdn-loop" => array:1 [ 0 => "cloudflare; loops=1" ] "priority" => array:1 [ 0 => "u=0, i" ] "upgrade-insecure-requests" => array:1 [ 0 => "1" ] "user-agent" => array:1 [ 0 => "Mozilla/5.0 AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko; compatible; ClaudeBot/1.0; +claudebot@anthropic.com)" ] "cf-connecting-ip" => array:1 [ 0 => "18.191.50.205" ] "accept" => array:1 [ 0 => "text/html,application/xhtml+xml,application/xml;q=0.9,image/avif,image/webp,image/apng,*/*;q=0.8,application/signed-exchange;v=b3;q=0.7" ] "sec-fetch-site" => array:1 [ 0 => "none" ] "cf-visitor" => array:1 [ 0 => "{"scheme":"https"}" ] "sec-fetch-mode" => array:1 [ 0 => "navigate" ] "sec-fetch-user" => array:1 [ 0 => "?1" ] "x-forwarded-proto" => array:1 [ 0 => "https" ] "cf-ipcountry" => array:1 [ 0 => "US" ] "accept-encoding" => array:1 [ 0 => "gzip, br" ] "sec-fetch-dest" => array:1 [ 0 => "document" ] "sec-ch-ua-platform" => array:1 [ 0 => ""Windows"" ] "cf-ray" => array:1 [ 0 => "91ea995e9cde13a0-ORD" ] "connection" => array:1 [ 0 => "close" ] "x-forwarded-for" => array:1 [ 0 => "18.191.50.205, 18.191.50.205" ] "host" => array:1 [ 0 => "chalzy.club" ] ]
        request_cookies
        []
        
        response_headers
        0 of 0
        array:7 [ "content-type" => array:1 [ 0 => "text/html; charset=UTF-8" ] "cache-control" => array:1 [ 0 => "private, must-revalidate" ] "date" => array:1 [ 0 => "Tue, 11 Mar 2025 11:09:21 GMT" ] "pragma" => array:1 [ 0 => "no-cache" ] "expires" => array:1 [ 0 => "-1" ] "set-cookie" => array:2 [ 0 => "XSRF-TOKEN=eyJpdiI6Ikx6cXVPODBWWkhNT0pBVlNwcTBUZWc9PSIsInZhbHVlIjoicEVEV3puY0k0QXd1d0dkbnRNMmJXNzczWkdER0lRVlh4ZDAzYXJtWU5ib2F0TURqWEFkck5odUFmeEJnNGtDS0VtU1FPREU4TU5BK09NV3EzWXZKbEtvVXl5SHVvcFlFT2NQTythS0EvREltT05GWEh1R1pPUXZ6cHVkanEvY2YiLCJtYWMiOiJjZjQ2NGI1MWI3ZGU2MGNkYTQ3YzFkOGE2YzA1N2NiMDFkNTZjYzI4YzBmODUyOTZkYWE0Y2RlODRjYWQyNTlkIiwidGFnIjoiIn0%3D; expires=Wed, 11 Mar 2026 11:09:21 GMT; Max-Age=31536000; path=/; samesite=laxXSRF-TOKEN=eyJpdiI6Ikx6cXVPODBWWkhNT0pBVlNwcTBUZWc9PSIsInZhbHVlIjoicEVEV3puY0k0QXd1d0dkbnRNMmJXNzczWkdER0lRVlh4ZDAzYXJtWU5ib2F0TURqWEFkck5odUFmeEJnNGtDS0VtU1FPR" 1 => "chalzyclub_session=eyJpdiI6IjdaY2JscnNxMmp6cWRCT2V0RWhVTVE9PSIsInZhbHVlIjoiQVFaSitsblBLVjRQd0pGdzVzQTdGckM2VnY3Tzhob2Z2OUlyNDYvS254TFR2R3JTU3hmem5DZStBSzBleFUyd2RreXFJeExiUVl0cWJITXB2ZUErVEp1dUx6cEVoVzEzN0dscmVGYVEyZnlzbVZuNm96anJiMVd2UGp4V0thUS8iLCJtYWMiOiJiOWIzZWZiNWJmZTNlNGYyMGJiZDNlYzBhYWY4MGQ5MGU4ODdmMGVkMzA0NTcwOTk2YjViMjRlODg4YzVkZTRhIiwidGFnIjoiIn0%3D; expires=Wed, 11 Mar 2026 11:09:21 GMT; Max-Age=31536000; path=/; httponly; samesite=laxchalzyclub_session=eyJpdiI6IjdaY2JscnNxMmp6cWRCT2V0RWhVTVE9PSIsInZhbHVlIjoiQVFaSitsblBLVjRQd0pGdzVzQTdGckM2VnY3Tzhob2Z2OUlyNDYvS254TFR2R3JTU3hmem5DZStBSzBleFUyd" ] "Set-Cookie" => array:2 [ 0 => "XSRF-TOKEN=eyJpdiI6Ikx6cXVPODBWWkhNT0pBVlNwcTBUZWc9PSIsInZhbHVlIjoicEVEV3puY0k0QXd1d0dkbnRNMmJXNzczWkdER0lRVlh4ZDAzYXJtWU5ib2F0TURqWEFkck5odUFmeEJnNGtDS0VtU1FPREU4TU5BK09NV3EzWXZKbEtvVXl5SHVvcFlFT2NQTythS0EvREltT05GWEh1R1pPUXZ6cHVkanEvY2YiLCJtYWMiOiJjZjQ2NGI1MWI3ZGU2MGNkYTQ3YzFkOGE2YzA1N2NiMDFkNTZjYzI4YzBmODUyOTZkYWE0Y2RlODRjYWQyNTlkIiwidGFnIjoiIn0%3D; expires=Wed, 11-Mar-2026 11:09:21 GMT; path=/XSRF-TOKEN=eyJpdiI6Ikx6cXVPODBWWkhNT0pBVlNwcTBUZWc9PSIsInZhbHVlIjoicEVEV3puY0k0QXd1d0dkbnRNMmJXNzczWkdER0lRVlh4ZDAzYXJtWU5ib2F0TURqWEFkck5odUFmeEJnNGtDS0VtU1FPR" 1 => "chalzyclub_session=eyJpdiI6IjdaY2JscnNxMmp6cWRCT2V0RWhVTVE9PSIsInZhbHVlIjoiQVFaSitsblBLVjRQd0pGdzVzQTdGckM2VnY3Tzhob2Z2OUlyNDYvS254TFR2R3JTU3hmem5DZStBSzBleFUyd2RreXFJeExiUVl0cWJITXB2ZUErVEp1dUx6cEVoVzEzN0dscmVGYVEyZnlzbVZuNm96anJiMVd2UGp4V0thUS8iLCJtYWMiOiJiOWIzZWZiNWJmZTNlNGYyMGJiZDNlYzBhYWY4MGQ5MGU4ODdmMGVkMzA0NTcwOTk2YjViMjRlODg4YzVkZTRhIiwidGFnIjoiIn0%3D; expires=Wed, 11-Mar-2026 11:09:21 GMT; path=/; httponlychalzyclub_session=eyJpdiI6IjdaY2JscnNxMmp6cWRCT2V0RWhVTVE9PSIsInZhbHVlIjoiQVFaSitsblBLVjRQd0pGdzVzQTdGckM2VnY3Tzhob2Z2OUlyNDYvS254TFR2R3JTU3hmem5DZStBSzBleFUyd" ] ]
        session_attributes
        0 of 0
        array:3 [ "_token" => "mZ039eO2EW6pgjI1UQh11Snffu937XwA3nptF076" "_previous" => array:1 [ "url" => "https://chalzy.club/jokes/meditation" ] "_flash" => array:2 [ "old" => [] "new" => [] ] ]
        ClearShow all
        Date ↕MethodURLData
        #12025-03-11 16:09:21GET/jokes/meditation1513