Says Jokes - Page 1

My neighbor says my mining setup looks like a spaceship. 🚀

I told him, “Yep, going to the moon... just waiting for my coins!” 🌕

An old trader is dying. A team of doctors gathers. The professor says:

He has a fever of 40. If it reaches 42, he will almost certainly die."

The trader opens his eyes and whispers: "At 41.8 — sell!

Two friends meet. One says:

– Bitcoin is what made me today’s wealth.

– Wow! And what’s your state now?

– Pre-heart attack.

Related Categories

mining trader like meet old neighbor one
More jokes
Request history8.3.16PHP Version536msRequest Duration3MBMemory UsageGET jokes/{alias?}Route
  • warninglog[16:24:40] LOG.warning: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecate...
  • Booting (19.42ms)time
  • Application (516ms)time
  • 1 x Application (96.37%)
    516ms
    1 x Booting (3.63%)
    19.42ms
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      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:210
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      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:35
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      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
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      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
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      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
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      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
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      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
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      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
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      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
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      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
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      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
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      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
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      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
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      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
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    • BlogController.php#293admin2_chalzyblog3.5msselect count(*) as aggregate from "jokes" where LOWER(jokes_name) like '%says%' and "jokes_view" = '1'
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      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
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      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
    • BlogController.php#293admin2_chalzyblog3.44msselect count(*) as aggregate from "jokes" where LOWER(jokes_name) like '%gathers%' and "jokes_view" = '1'
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      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
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    • BlogController.php#293admin2_chalzyblog4.73msselect count(*) as aggregate from "jokes" where LOWER(jokes_name) like '%professor%' and "jokes_view" = '1'
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      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
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      Backtrace
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:288
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
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      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
    • BlogController.php#293admin2_chalzyblog4.1msselect count(*) as aggregate from "jokes" where LOWER(jokes_name) like '%spaceship%' and "jokes_view" = '1'
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      • app/Http/Controllers/BlogController.php:293
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      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
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