I wanted to buy coffee, but I HODL’d instead. Now I’m awake from hunger, not caffeine.
It’s always on—and draining my battery. 🔋
Now I’m mining twice as many problems! 😅
I said, “Nope, just burning it!” 💸
Now I’m saving up to pay for my mining.
My enemy missed four times in a row. I missed five. Justice!
Boyfriend: "I’ve walked 100 kilometers with StepN this month!"
Girlfriend: "Wow, how much did you make?"
Boyfriend: "$25!"
Girlfriend: "And how much did those NFT sneakers cost?"
Boyfriend: "$800, but they’re an investment!"
Girlfriend: "So, you’re walking to lose money? That’s a first." 🏃♂️📉
Boy: "My Axies are bringing in more profits, I’ll be able to buy a house soon!"
Girl: "But aren’t you afraid it’ll be like diarrhea? At some point, your tokens will just disappear, and you’ll be left sitting with this."
Boy: "No, it’s just growth!"
Girl: "Growth that ends suddenly, and your dreams will leave with a smell." 💩🏠
Boy: "Look at my portfolio, I made money with Axie Infinity!"
Girl: "Well, at first, yes, but remember: cryptocurrency and Axie are like diarrhea. Everything’s fine until you realize your money’s gone down the toilet."
Boy: "But I’m sticking to my strategy!"
Girl: "Your strategy’s like diarrhea – you start happy, and end up in trouble." 💩💸
Boy: "My Axies are growing, I’ll soon earn enough for a new computer!"
Girl: "Aren’t you afraid it’ll end like diarrhea? Tokens grow at first, then you’re sitting on the toilet, not knowing what to do."
Boy: "It’s just a temporary correction!"
Girl: "Your correction is here, and it doesn’t smell so good." 💩💻
Boy: "My cat in Catizen is amazing! He’s now the ruler of all the lawns!"
Girl: "And the ruler of diarrhea too! Look at his tummy — that’s not a cat, that’s a toilet on paws!"
Boy: "Seriously?"
Girl: "Yep! In Catizen, all cats start with good food and end with... diarrhea!" 💩🐱
Boy: "Everything’s lining up, the charts and the news, I’m going to make money soon!"
Girl: "Lining up? You’ve already gone through crypto diarrhea and don’t even realize it!"
Boy: "It’s not diarrhea, it’s just a temporary correction!"
Girl: "Your correction will soon be on the toilet, enjoy your meal!" 💩🚽
Boy: "I bought new tokens, they’ll skyrocket soon!"
Girl: "Aren’t you afraid it’ll be like poop: small at first, and then it all spills out on you?"
Boy: "No, it’s the future!"
Girl: "The future with a smell, sure." 💩🚀
Boy: "I bought a new cryptocurrency, it’s going to skyrocket soon!"
Girl: "You know, your love for tokens is stronger than your love for me!"
Boy: "You don’t get it, it’s money for the future!"
Girl: "What about the present? We can’t even buy a decent dinner!" 🍔💔
Investor 1: "Did you invest in the new token?"
Investor 2: "Of course! I’m already one step ahead of the market!"
Investor 1: "Did you manage to check its price?"
Investor 2: "No, but I know for sure I’ll regret it if I don’t invest!" 😂📉
New crypto investor: "I heard you can make millions in a day!"
Old investor: "Yeah, it’s like horse racing — you win if you’re lucky, and you lose if you’re not!" 🏇💸
New investor: "How do you know when you're lucky?"
Old investor: "When you sold at the peak and bought at the bottom!" 😂
Why did Bitcoin go to therapy?
Because it finally broke the $100,000 barrier and needed to talk about its issues.
Ethereum, because it’s always "ahead" of the others!
– Bitcoin is what made me today’s wealth.
– Wow! And what’s your state now?
– Pre-heart attack.
Star Atlas: "I bid on a legendary spaceship NFT, but someone sniped it!"
Splinterlands: "Was it a monster?"
Star Atlas: "No, it was a whale. 🐋💸"
Gods Unchained: "Whales always win. Next time, pray before you bid."
Star Atlas: "Will that stop them?"
Gods Unchained: "No, but it’ll make you feel better when you lose."
“I’m level 3, let’s battle!” The opponent was level 99.
“Never mind, I’ll just... watch from here.” 👀
The God of War said, “I’ll grant you the ultimate blessing!” The blessing was a rubber duck. “Not exactly what I expected.” 🦆
A Splinterlands player tried to power-up their weakest card. “Now I’ve got the ultimate monster!”
5 seconds later: “It’s still just a goblin.” 🧟♀️
A Splinterlands player used a power-up on a weak monster. "Now, this will be epic!"
10 seconds later: "Uh, that was a disaster.” 💥
Who knew the real drop in crypto would be my wisdom? 😎 The moment you realize your advice is worth more than the coins!
When the market drops, it’s trending everywhere—except this time, the hype isn't for a new album, it’s for your portfolio's potential! 🔥🎶
My portfolio dropped like a stone.
I thought I was investing, but apparently, I’m just helping the market hit rock bottom.
At least I’m doing my part.
I booked a crypto cruise.
The only thing sinking was my portfolio. 🚢📉