Boy: "I’m opening chests, hoping to get a rare card!"
Girl: "Oh, you’re like diarrhea: always hoping for the best, but ending up with disappointment."
Boy: "But once I get the card, I can sell it for a ton of money!"
Girl: "I hope this card doesn’t end up like your last diarrhea — just a waste of time." 💩🎮
Boy: "I just won in Splinterlands! This is my path to wealth!"
Girl: "How much did you win?"
Boy: "30 coins!"
Girl: "You won 30 coins, and that’s like the poop I clean up every day." 💩💰
Boy: "My collection of Splinterlands cards is a masterpiece!"
Girl: "A masterpiece? Are you sure? You’re like diarrhea — tons of enthusiasm at first, then only disappointment!"
Boy: "But the cards could grow in value!"
Girl: "I hope you grow in knowledge on how to spend money wisely." 💩🎮
Boy: "I spent all my money on Splinterlands cards, and now they’re worth nothing!"
Girl: "You can’t even win in the weakest game, and you want to earn money?"
Boy: "But I’m sure one day this game will bring me profits!"
Girl: "You’re like diarrhea — all you leave behind is disappointment." 💩💸
Boy: "Look, I got a rare card in Splinterlands! This is my chance!"
Girl: "If you’re so excited about a card that’s worth less than the price of toilet paper, we’re in trouble."
Boy: "You don’t get it, this is an important card!"
Girl: "Yeah, just like poop on the floor — everyone thinks it’s valuable, but the smell won’t go away." 💩💳
Boy: "I earned a ton of coins in Splinterlands, but my cards still don’t bring any income!"
Girl: "You’re like diarrhea — the harder you try, the more it goes wrong."
Boy: "But I won’t give up, I’m on the hunt for new cards!"
Girl: "You’re hunting for rare cards, but all you’re catching are poop." 💩🎮
Boy: "I spent so much on upgrading cards in Splinterlands, and now all the money’s like poop!"
Girl: "Do you seriously think this will lead to success?"
Boy: "Well, once I get rare cards, I can sell them for a lot of money!"
Girl: "For now, you’re like diarrhea: lots of spending and no results!" 💩💰
Boy: "I won a few matches in Splinterlands, now I’m definitely going to get rich!"
Girl: "You can’t even control your card collection, how do you think you’ll control your earnings?"
Boy: "It’s like diarrhea after a BBQ, I’m sure everything will get better soon!"
Girl: "Well, at least it’s as quick as disappointment hits." 💩🎮
Boy: "I just spent all my money buying cards in Splinterlands, and now I don’t even have money for toilet paper!"
Girl: "Do you really think you’ll earn more from this game than you spent?"
Boy: "Yes, if I get rare cards, I can sell them and make a ton of coins!"
Girl: "Well, I hope you can use the coins as toilet paper at least." 🧻💩
Splinterlands: "I need to know if I should buy this card. What does the oracle say?"
Gods Unchained: "The oracle says: ‘Ask again later.’"
Star Atlas: "I’ve had that answer for a year!"
Gods Unchained: "Well, oracles aren’t known for their timely advice. 🙏🕰️"
A goblin card became MVP in a match. “How did that happen?”
Goblin: “I have no idea, but I’m retiring now!” 🎉
A player spent 30 minutes strategizing. They finally played... a goblin. “Was that really worth it?” 🧙♂️
A Splinterlands player lagged out of the game. When they reconnected, they had won. “The lag is my new secret weapon!” 💻
A player said, “I’ll build the cheapest deck!” Their deck was entirely goblins. “Why am I losing every match?” 🧝♂️
A Splinterlands player tried to bluff. “You’ll never guess what card I have!”
The opponent: “It’s a goblin, isn’t it?” 🃏
A Splinterlands player entered the arena. “Prepare to face my dragons!”
Their opponent summoned... a cat. The cat won. 🐉😺
A Splinterlands player discovered a treasure chest. Inside was... a goblin.
“You’ve been robbed!” the goblin shouted, holding a stick. 🪙🧙♂️
A Splinterlands player said, “I have the best strategy!”
5 seconds later: “Wait... why do I only have 1 card left?” 🃏
A Splinterlands player drew the worst card possible. “This is going to be terrible!”
Card: “Don’t blame me. I’m just a goblin.” 🧟♂️
A Splinterlands player entered a tournament. “I’ve got this in the bag!”
5 seconds later: “Wait, why am I fighting a potato?” 🥔
A Splinterlands player accidentally won a battle. “How did that happen?”
Opponent: “I think I forgot to play my cards.” 😅
A Splinterlands player tried to apply a complex strategy. “This will make me unbeatable!”
10 minutes later: “Did I just lose because I didn’t draw a single monster?” 🤷♀️
A Splinterlands player spent all their coins upgrading a card. “This is going to be so powerful!”
10 seconds later: “Wait... it still only has 2 attack?” 🤦♂️
A Splinterlands player said, “Today is my lucky day!”
5 minutes later: “Why did I draw 5 cards... of goblins?” 🧟♂️
A Splinterlands player summoned their most powerful monster.
It sat there and said, “I’m off today, I’ll fight tomorrow.” 🛋️
A Splinterlands player entered a tournament. “I’m going to win this for sure!”
10 seconds later: “Wait, am I fighting against a chicken?” 🐔
A Splinterlands player tried to power-up their weakest card. “Now I’ve got the ultimate monster!”
5 seconds later: “It’s still just a goblin.” 🧟♀️
A Splinterlands player thought they found a gold mine. They mined for hours.
5 minutes later: “I found a pile of dust… and one spider.” 🕷️
A Splinterlands player upgraded their monster to the max. “Now, no one can defeat me!”
10 seconds later: “Why is it just sitting there doing nothing?” 🤷♂️
A Splinterlands player said, “I’ve won 10 battles in a row!”
10 minutes later: “I think I need to take a nap for the next 5 days.” 🛏️