I invested everything in Chaos Legion packs. Now I’m eating Chaos Ramen.
Boy: "I’m opening chests, hoping to get a rare card!"
Girl: "Oh, you’re like diarrhea: always hoping for the best, but ending up with disappointment."
Boy: "But once I get the card, I can sell it for a ton of money!"
Girl: "I hope this card doesn’t end up like your last diarrhea — just a waste of time." 💩🎮
Boy: "My collection of Splinterlands cards is a masterpiece!"
Girl: "A masterpiece? Are you sure? You’re like diarrhea — tons of enthusiasm at first, then only disappointment!"
Boy: "But the cards could grow in value!"
Girl: "I hope you grow in knowledge on how to spend money wisely." 💩🎮
Boy: "Look, I got a rare card in Splinterlands! This is my chance!"
Girl: "If you’re so excited about a card that’s worth less than the price of toilet paper, we’re in trouble."
Boy: "You don’t get it, this is an important card!"
Girl: "Yeah, just like poop on the floor — everyone thinks it’s valuable, but the smell won’t go away." 💩💳
A: "Why did Gods Unchained lose to Splinterlands in poker?"
B: "They played their divine hand too early."
A: "And Star Atlas?"
B: "They accidentally bet their spaceship NFT. 🚀🎲"
A: "Big mistake."
B: "But a cosmic one. 🌌"
A player drew a card called “Ultimate Destruction.” It turned out to be... a sheep. “Looks destructive to the grass, I guess.” 🐑
A player summoned a “Powerful Dragon.” Instead, they got a chicken with a cape. “Well, at least it’s wearing a cape.” 🐔
A Splinterlands player drew the worst card possible. “This is going to be terrible!”
Card: “Don’t blame me. I’m just a goblin.” 🧟♂️
A Gods Unchained player said, “I’ll get all the cards!” They ended up with 100 cards. “I think I might have a problem…” 😂
A Gods Unchained player had so many cards, they couldn’t fit them in their deck. “I think I’ve become a card hoarder.” “It’s not hoarding, it’s ‘collecting’!” 📚
A Gods Unchained player said, “Time to summon my strongest card!” They summoned a card with a dancing bear. "Well, that’s... not exactly what I had in mind." 🐻
A Gods Unchained player said, “I have the best strategy!” They played their first card: “It’s a potato…” 🥔
A Splinterlands player tried to power-up their weakest card. “Now I’ve got the ultimate monster!”
5 seconds later: “It’s still just a goblin.” 🧟♀️
A Gods Unchained player said, “I have the most powerful cards!”
They tried to play them, but their screen froze.
“Maybe I need a bigger monitor.” 🖥️
A Gods Unchained player said, “I’ve got the perfect deck!”
5 seconds later: “Well, my perfect deck just lost to a potato.” 🥔
A Splinterlands player collected all the rare cards. “Now I’m unstoppable!”
5 minutes later: “Why do all my monsters still have 1 health?” 🏥
The God of Luck said, “I will bless your cards with good fortune!”
5 minutes later: “I think I’ve just drawn the worst deck ever.” 🍀
A Gods Unchained player opened a pack and pulled a rare card. “Wow, it’s a godly card!”
Card: “I’m just here for the snacks.” 🍩
A Splinterlands player tried to trade cards. “Why is nobody trading with me?”
Friend: “Maybe because you only have 5 goblins?” 🧟
A Splinterlands player opened a pack and got a card worth 1,000 tokens. "I guess luck really is on my side... for once!" 🍀
A Gods Unchained player bought a rare card for 1,000 tokens.
Their friend said, “Do you get a free pizza with that?” 🍕
A Splinterlands player got two of the same card again. "I guess I’ve unlocked the ‘copy-paste’ skill!" 📋
A Gods Unchained player put a rare card on the market.
Buyer: “Is it worth more than a Tesla?” 🚗
A Splinterlands player got two of the same card in a pack.
“Well, at least it’s an NFT, not a photocopy.” 📸
A player complained, “My Gods Unchained card is OP.”
Opponent: “Just like your excuses.” 😏
A Gods Unchained collector bought a card for $1,000.
Friend: “Does it cook, too?” 🍳
Why do Gods Unchained players love gold cards? Because even the gods appreciate “bling.” ✨
Why don’t Star Atlas spaceships use credit cards? They’re already in too much “space debt.” 🛸
What do you call a Splinterlands player who only loses? A “decked” out loser! 🃏
Ethereum: "Decentralization is the future, let’s embrace it!"
Polkadot: "I’ll connect all the decentralized ideas to make it work!"
Cardano: "I’m ensuring scalability and sustainability in the long run."
Ethereum: "But can we handle the gas fees in the process?"
Polkadot: "I’ll make sure they’re low, no worries!"
Cardano: "And I’ll make sure we’re eco-friendly!" 🗣️