Now he wants a share of the profits! 💼
Bought a card during the hype. Its value is now “priceless.” Literally.
Played for an hour. Earned 1 DEC. Retirement fund secured.
Entered a tournament. Lost immediately. Consider it a donation.
My strongest monster was taken out by a chicken. Never underestimate poultry.
Spent 10 minutes planning my lineup. Lost in 10 seconds.
Sold my card for profit. Two days later, it’s worth double. Genius!
Got 50 reward chests. Pulled 49 potions and 1 DEC. Jackpot!
My enemy missed four times in a row. I missed five. Justice!
I finally got a Gold Foil card… It’s still worth less than my coffee.
Spent all mana on a tank. The rest of the team is emotional support.
I invested everything in Chaos Legion packs. Now I’m eating Chaos Ramen.
Boy: "I sold my land in Upland, now I’m a millionaire!"
Girl: "Only if you hold back your urges, or diarrhea might bankrupt you!"
Boy: "You don’t get it, I earned!"
Girl: "You earned, but your stomach took everything you had!" 💩💵
Boy: "I’m playing Upland and cashing out money!"
Girl: "Are you sure your stomach will handle that kind of load?"
Boy: "What, you don’t believe in my abilities?"
Girl: "Last time, you didn’t cash out money, you cashed out... well, anything!" 💩🎮
Boy: "I bought land in Upland, now I have property in one of the most prestigious areas!"
Girl: "That’s cool, but are you sure your digestive system will survive this deal?"
Boy: "Of course, now I have money, I can handle everything!"
Girl: "I’m not sure you’ll be able to control your finances if diarrhea ruins everything!" 💩💰
Boy: "A new block has opened in Upland with amazing views!"
Girl: "Is there a new toilet nearby? You won’t be able to enjoy the views for long!"
Boy: "That’s a bit too much!"
Girl: "Don’t worry, soon you’ll be looking at toilet paper instead." 💩🚽
Boy: "I bought a whole block in Upland, now I’ll sit back and enjoy!"
Girl: "You won’t be able to sit still — your stomach is already searching for a toilet!"
Boy: "But I thought the money in Upland would calm me down!"
Girl: "Money won’t save you from diarrhea, trust me!" 💩💸
Boy: "I invested in Upland and now I can cash out money!"
Girl: "Don’t you think you’re risking more than if you went on vacation with diarrhea?"
Boy: "I hope it’ll pay off!"
Girl: "I hope you’re not the first one to exit the game while sitting on the toilet." 💩🎲
Boy: "I bought tons of land in Upland, now I’ll be rich!"
Girl: "Are you sure you’re rich? To me, your land looks more like poop than assets!"
Boy: "You don’t get it, these are virtual assets!"
Girl: "So you’re not afraid they’ll bring you the same problems as diarrhea?" 💩💻
Boy: "I cashed out money from Upland, now I’m rich!"
Girl: "I don’t think you’re that rich, since you couldn’t even cash out your stomach on time!"
Boy: "But actually, I can sell my land and become a millionaire!"
Girl: "You’d be rich if you could cash anything out of your stomach!" 💩💵
Boy: "I’m making money by selling property in Upland!"
Girl: "Aren’t you afraid this is like empty land… just like your stomach after morning coffee?"
Boy: "But here are real money!"
Girl: "That’s what you said. And just like your assets in Upland, the money doesn’t stick around long." 💩💵
Boy: "I bought my first piece of land in Upland, now I’ll start making money!"
Girl: "And I bought diarrhea medicine, and that’s clearly more useful!"
Boy: "But you don’t get it, you can earn a lot in Upland!"
Girl: "You’d better learn to control your body, because no amount of money will help with that diarrhea!" 💩💊
Boy: "I sold my land in Upland for $50!"
Girl: "You sold land in a game, but your diarrhea is still unsold!"
Boy: "But this is a real asset, I cashed it out!"
Girl: "Yeah, and your money is like poop — useless!" 💩💰
Boy: "I bought so much property in Upland, I can sell everything and become a billionaire!"
Girl: "You definitely don’t need to invest more in Upland, you should go to the toilet — that could also bring profit!"
Boy: "Why?"
Girl: "Because just like in Upland, you can't avoid diarrhea!" 💩🚽
Boy: "I'm in Upland, and here are my super assets!"
Girl: "You could’ve cleaned the apartment in the meantime… at least from the poop!"
Boy: "But in Upland, I can sell cities for money!"
Girl: "You’d better try to sell your lack of common sense, because it’s like diarrhea!" 💩💡
Boy: "I invested all my money in Upland, hoping to get rich!"
Girl: "Are you sure this is the best plan? Maybe you should treat your diarrhea instead?"
Boy: "But in Upland, you can win huge money!"
Girl: "You know that with Upland money, you can't even treat diarrhea!" 💩💸
Boy: "I’m opening chests, hoping to get a rare card!"
Girl: "Oh, you’re like diarrhea: always hoping for the best, but ending up with disappointment."
Boy: "But once I get the card, I can sell it for a ton of money!"
Girl: "I hope this card doesn’t end up like your last diarrhea — just a waste of time." 💩🎮
Boy: "I just won in Splinterlands! This is my path to wealth!"
Girl: "How much did you win?"
Boy: "30 coins!"
Girl: "You won 30 coins, and that’s like the poop I clean up every day." 💩💰
Boy: "My collection of Splinterlands cards is a masterpiece!"
Girl: "A masterpiece? Are you sure? You’re like diarrhea — tons of enthusiasm at first, then only disappointment!"
Boy: "But the cards could grow in value!"
Girl: "I hope you grow in knowledge on how to spend money wisely." 💩🎮
Boy: "I spent all my money on Splinterlands cards, and now they’re worth nothing!"
Girl: "You can’t even win in the weakest game, and you want to earn money?"
Boy: "But I’m sure one day this game will bring me profits!"
Girl: "You’re like diarrhea — all you leave behind is disappointment." 💩💸